Where does it begin?

After many posts of mindless rambling of the weather and love, I need to return to write about the ending of my employment situation. It has been almost three months and not a day of actual work. Bottled between email communications and paycheck are many pages of forms that have to be signed, verified, faxed, and mailed. I am really not a big fan of paperwork- not only it kills trees, but it costs more money to operate anyways; Think about the postage, the ink, the envelop, and many people hired just to pass the paper around the country.

I am not saying that all should be done electronically because it creates its own headache too. My orientation, benefit enrollment, I-9 check, all are done online. You would assume information traveled electronically should expedite the process, but in reality it takes me longer to think if I have indeed completed what I was supposed to do. I know there is no one behind that web screen, and the "confirmation" email was just sent by a robot, nothing more than a few lines of code. I know it, I used to write those codes. The cold hard... *Do not Reply to This Email*.... email...

I have time to think about all of these because I had a long vacation as I have been semi-idle for nearly over six months. It sucks that I can't even get unemployment check since I wasn't laid off. It's almost an envy to my old coworkers that I am able to sleep in most of the days. What do they know? Should I be glad to be having a job now, or feeling annoyed that I can't start it before the holidays. My autumn and Thanksgiving holidays went past like any other day... I barely feel the joy of holiday cheers.

In retrospect, the road to employment has been of hassles and waiting- in its true nature, it is a testament of my patience. Just when I thought I could start yesterday, I have no badge. Without badge, I will need an escort around the office,...even to the bathroom? So here we are at another level of security check for the badge purpose. Why didn't my paperwork simply flow to the badge office, and why despite passing many tiers of security check, badge office can still manage to say "please wait for another 5 days"?

I just want to be busy daily. I feel I am wasting my brain cells for not using them effectively to serve any purpose. I have yet to prepare any Christmas gifts... I really don't have the mood for it now

再次看見

走吧 又過了一夜
你越走越遠
孤單旋律
這一夜再次徘徊

痛吧 寧願低著頭
你不看我一面
黯然心碎是代替我贖罪
走了多遠 我再尋找從前

餘音 砸了 慌了 也知道
心跳聽了都閒吵
愛情 冷了 過了 也體會
上天賜我一個愛你的機會

選什麼
緣份兩個字眼
酸的比痛過留下眼淚更可悲

哭什麼
閃爍星夜是淚水編織
冷月黯淡 秋雨棉棉

我什麼都沒有…
我對你的捨得
跟隨腳步 再次看見
走到明天…

-Christy 12/09/10