The road not taken

Yesterday, I was asked why I blogged when I could just write my feelings in my journal? I do both actually. While blogging keeps an optimist perspective on my thoughts, writing in my journal reveals my "after-thoughts". I write about my feelings mostly in my journal, you know, the thing about love, relationship, my desires- things ought not to shared with the world yet. Where on blog I use it as my platform to evaluate, mainly to make, my decision.

I keep these decisions open to the public because someone out there may find them valuable. Perhaps, they may have the same doubts, or they may have wise advice for me. The web is neutral; I won't be judged for making a decision and I listen to everyone's say. It helped me get through my days when I know these postings will reach to a certain population one day.

Anyway, it has been a week since I "dropped" out of law school. I am reluctant to speak in this manner since how do you drop out when you are never enrolled? You see, back at my old job, we had a fellow who dropped out of law school- he finished his 1L at Seattle U and figured that road was not for him. I asked him then why he even went if he was clueless initially? He gave me an answer that may be common for most people in law school today- he didn't know what he could do after college that pays decent money. That statement there truly sounded like a drop out to me. Unfortunately, this young man took his own life after a year at the job. My prayer goes out to him.

I used to think I could adapt my love for writing to love for law. Not likely so. I just can't write about something I don't believe in; and I can't be convincing if I can't believe. So with all, this is what I love:

Promise

Before the first sight, before the first night
Before the arcs of many moons a Promise I had known
From the solitude of my walls echoed a soft whisper
“I am falling in love with you”

Fall bloomed red with desire; Winter longed with her sorrowed swoon
Lashed by the snow stream thawed by spring wind
We heaved with shivers of joy, anticipation and loss
The stuff of life; the stuff of love!

Love, the chariot of Apollo, knew of no reasons, knew of no seasons
Faith, ever fragile a mistress, danced her terrible fate
A Promise, not lived, is not believed
A dream, not believed , easily caved

I choose to Live that Promise
Not as a soft whisper in the dark
Not as a painting, a page or a frame
But as a day and everyday in the light of the sun