Hello Tuition!

I finally felt the financial burden of a higher education. For the first time in my life, I forked over a large sum of 10k to pay for my first quarter tuition.

The past few months were proven hard for me, for that my business hasn't gone as prosperous as I expected. As of September, as I packed and shipped my last order to my customer from Georgia, I made a decision to close down FU Wear Asia. It was a decision I knew I had to make soon.

Sitting on top of the kitchen counter were hundreds of fliers awaiting to be posted on bulletin board; locking away in the cabinet sat a stack of my business cards- a startling reminder of my past enthusiasm. The truth was that I cannot afford to spend my tuition money on this side hobby. When there is no steady steam of income, any hobby is costly, and any expense is magnified. The conservative part of me tells me, I need to quit.

No one likes to be a quitter, but I'd like to feel no shame in admitting that I shouldn't have crossed path with the fashion business. Liking fashion was one matter, actually succeeding in managing one was another. Now the business-deal is settled, however, I don't feel any relief from my money situation. It is not the immediate lacking of money that bothers me- my savings for the past five years have prepared me for times like this. I know in the not so far future, say three years, I will need to ask my family for money. I haven't asked since I graduated from high school; to a certain point, I forgot how to ask. I wonder, will my mom be willing to support her daughter's dream- a luxury my mother never owned? Will my dad be able to look beyond the cost of today and invest in my future? Will my sister, who is one year older than me, be following my path and expecting my parents to support her dream of pharmacy school too, if she chooses to pursue?

I don't have any answer. At times, my pride is too big to even sputter a sound of my questions. I will think about these when time comes. I will leave these to tomorrow. Because tomorrow will be another day.

Show me the money

After the reality has set in, I am starting to get panic attack. For one, I never had a student loan in my life, thanks foremost to an affordable tuition at undergrad. Scholarships, financial aid, and some money from my business all helped me graduate college without debts.

But this is law school. Truth to be told, a professional school doesn't grant me many perks I enjoyed during undergrad. My tuition, while it is manageable compared to that of other law school, is still a sky-rocket figure ($23k/year) to me.

I then realize that by attending law school will not just put me in debt after graduating, but deplete all of my savings as well. This thought definitely scared me! Having left Boeing four months ago, I started to live off on my savings. I had intended to use some of the savings and started another company- FU Wear Asia, an online website that sells Asian style clothes to the US market. Such a simple concept but involves a great complexity. I have to work with my suppliers who are located across the globe, and the time difference makes many business dealings more difficult. This is not impossible certainly, but I can't seem to stop asking myself: Did I put forth my best efforts?

How can I when I am only using this as a mean to support my own tuition? I am not desperate. This is not my last frontier either, and so, I blame the difficulties on the lack of infrastructure and processes of my suppliers. Since I founded FU Wear Asia, I have debated to whether close it down. Should I continue spending money on advertising or Should I pull a plug to burning cash? As all entrepreneurs know, you have to invest before you can harvest your crop. The problem in me, in this business, is that my law school is my investment. Should I protect my prior investment?