Just will you take a look at yourself

When you look in the mirror, do you see who you are or who you want to be? I might as well be honest with myself, starting with my conviction, my motivation, and my expectation.

I trembled at the thought of being a lawyer-- I’ve said it when I’ve been independent. Not that the idea of justice frighten me. We all wrote about that subject matter in our personal statement, didn’t we? We wanted to reach to the poor, defend the right, and unwind the wrongful acts- all are partial meaning to this career. Then, one complains about the long hours in the cubicle- writing and researching about cases- and not to at least demand some compensation from big law. This thought, under cover of virtuous sentiment, became one's reflection. The honorable causes you speak, reasons, purposes, are echoes of the past. You even wanted to be convinced that you truly believed. You know, without that disguise, you lose your basic senses and principles of happiness; you stare infinitely into your soul, searching for a noble declaration-- only to find that law is the ultimate horror.

It’s been real to me-- from the day I studied for LSAT (Law School Assessment Test). I was impervious to the notion that a law degree can pay me plenty. I have never imposed that notion on myself. I knew nothing of law, except of fight for a glorious reason-justice. It ought to be the chief goal of this career or I suppose I’d simply been spared the generous paycheck as an analyst at Boeing. Granted, you should know-- no money will buy you reasons you’re in the legal field.

I have never thought myself as such a vulgar rebel. That I refused to accept the vague perception of law school with clear emptiness; rather, chose to be a crusader in my own reasons of entering law. People say, in this career, you either feel a great joy or a timid terror at the end of the day; mine will be a smiling moment. I will not sell my soul to law, not sacrifice its integrity to its promising paycheck; I will give it the dignity it convicts.

After all, I am not here to learn common sense.